Asking Permission

This is probably going to be a semi-ranty post and I would apologize, but I think it needs to be said. I'm saying this "out loud" mainly to myself, but it's here if anyone else needs to hear it as well.

I've been working on personal development this year. Dusting the cobwebs off my pleasure reading cubby in ye olde cranium. Lately, I'm reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's all about living a creative life and telling fear it can't rule your mental dominion. Fantastic book. I highly recommend it, and perfect for me since I assigned myself the word "FEARLESS" for this year. 

So as I'm reading, my mental voice goes off on tangents and I have to go back and catch up on the book once I pat the voice on the head and distract it like you would a toddler. "Hey, let me finish up this chapter right here and then we'll go do something fun. How about making a new playlist of songs to play?" Mental Me frowns, sighs and agrees. Now I can go back to my ah-may-za-zing book and personal transformation. 

Uh-oh. Mental Me is back and she has steely determination on her face and she's baring her teeth. This can't be good. I hear her out and have to admit, she has a great point. 

Remember when you were a kid and you'd get so excited over something that you'd just go and do it before asking for permission? It was full-bore GO! DO! MAKE! And oh, the absolute JOY you got from the doing and the making. The stars aligned for that second and all was right in your little world. Until... some adult came along and lost their ever loving mind over what you had just done.

Yeah, I'll admit, sometimes it wasn't the smartest thing that tickled your creative fancy. Like using red nail polish to make the old tractor in the field pretty, or trying to clean an old truck battery and getting battery acid all over your new shirt that resulted in it going in the trash. Or maybe drawing an epic mural of the alphabet people from Kindergarten under the counter top or under the coffee table. While you KNEW you were creating your own Sistine Chapel under the coffee table, the parents didn't quite see it that way. As a parent, I totally see their point. Kids are ... well, something else. I'll just leave it at that.

So after all the times you get chided for all these creative outbursts, your creative mind decides to pack up some of its things and step back.

Teen years come. All the angst. All the hormones. All the self-doubt. All the absolute craziness. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me shudder. Creativity decides to stick its head out with black clothes, crazy hair, journal venting, multiple piercings, DIY ball-point pen tattoos. Creativity is then viewed as trouble. They don't get it. You are a troubled person. You are different. You are weird. Once again, Creativity sucks itself back in that dark corner and packs up more of its fun and flair and you begrudgingly shuffle toward the mold society wants to put you in.

Adulthood. Here it is. What we've wanted all along. What we've trained for. What will bring us success. What we soon find is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING. Work, marriage, kids - the whole shebang. You're there, you're doing it. But something is missing.

You're supposed to listen to all the smarter, higher-ranking people, do exactly as you've been told. Don't dare question anything.

Your child is having trouble sitting still in Kindergarten. You're told, "Give them some pills."

You can't take a position in a job that you're desperately interested in because you don't have a degree or the financial ability to get said degree. You're told, "Tough cookies, pal. That's the breaks."

But you want to know why some degreeless people are in cahoots with folks with deeper pockets are handed the position you wanted. You're told, "That's just how things worked out." 

You're expected to work like a silent robot until retirement age. Plug away at a 9-5, go home, sleep, and do the same crap again. It's the outline we're all supposed to follow.


Well, you know what?
(FYI: this is the phrase I use when I've had it. You hear this, either run or take a few steps back.)

THIS. IS. BS. 

Epic BS. 

We have been trained to follow the damn, pre-planned layout of life. Like an army of paper dolls. One punch for males, one punch for females. Shooting out thousands at a time, same clothes, same shape, same opportunities, same everything. 

WHY?

Because we have stopped our creative genius. We have to ask for permission to be creative or anything outside the box. We have to make sure everything is okay and accepted. WE HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION TO BE OURSELVES. 

What the heck is up with that?!?!

It is beyond time we call Creativity out of that dark corner we've put it in. Come on! Bring some color back to life. Bring some fun. Come out, Creativity!!!! 

Have you called Creativity out and asked for help or are you just sitting there wishing you had?

DO IT! C'mon!!! You're not alone!!

You have a story to write? WRITE IT!
You want to play music? PLAY IT!

You want to make something that's never been seen before? MAKE IT!

You want to make changes you've been scared to try? DO IT!
You want a completely different career? GO FOR IT!
You want to start a business? START IT!

You want to do something you know will make people give you a landslide of side-eye?

DO. IT. 

Yeah, some of the side-eye is going to be because they don't understand. That's unavoidable. You'll always run into people who don't get it. Honestly, as yourself, does it matter what they think? Do they live under your roof? Do their opinions pay your bills? Probably not.

Some will be eyeballing you because they want to come out of their shell, but they don't want to stir things up. They're scared. They have all their personal worth in the opinions of others. They secretly envy the confidence you have for doing it. You're their inspiration. You're doing it for them, too. 

Will it be scary? HECK YES!

Will it be worth it? Only if you want to do what your heart desires. 

So... are you with me? Are you going to let Creativity out of the box? Are you going to answer that faint call to be different, to bring some color to a black and white canvas?

I sure hope so!!! Let's do this!!! 

Oh Sister, Where Art Thou?

Whoa. It's been a while since I've posted. Sorry about that. It was completely unintentional. I was strutting through life like Leo DiCaprio and then *BOOM!* Life happened everywhere! All over the place.

borrowed from Google

Nothing bad, just an absolute explosion of things.

We had my 34th birthday, our 16th anniversary, loads of homeschool stuff, niece birthdays, cleaning, plumbing issues, singing events, a master phone reset... just everything. Don't you just love it when ALL THE THINGS like to happen back to back? This is when Life throws its head back and cackles because you thought you had everything under control.

So I'm back today taking advantage of some quiet time because I have a sick kid who is resting up and it's finally a little bit back to normal even though we are currently housing cooties. I'm writing this post between loads of laundry and disinfecting our little world. It's also super wet and soggy outside today due to some mega rainfall over the weekend. We're sitting, or maybe I should say floating, at a little over 6" of rain this morning with chances of rain through the rest of the week. I made this meme yesterday and it's so true for most of the state of Texas.

I've got a confession to make. I am a control freak. I TRY not to be. I try to tell myself I'm not, but when it comes down to it, I'm a raging control freak. I feel like I need to "fix" everything that's going awry. Be it people, situations, mishaps, I MUST FIX THEM. And it makes me so ragey when I can't fix things. I don't like not being able to fix things.

How have I been handling all the fixing that needs to be done, but isn't happening?


By decluttering my house KonMari style. I might not can finish up the plumbing stuff myself, but I CAN organize the heck out of my pens, junk drawers in the kitchen, bathroom cabinets, and sock drawer. Let me tell you, my sock drawer is AMAZING. That is a major silver lining in the midst of the crazy.

Kitchen gadget drawer after KM.

Bathroom cabinet after KM. 

Pens and Homeschooling writing goods Before and After.
Don't judge me.

I haven't forgotten about my blog during all the hubbub. No siree! I've been contemplating posts for weeks, but they just haven't made it out of my head and through my keyboard. So I'm working on getting back on a post schedule and throw some new things out there too.

I hope you're having a fantastic Monday! Let's go make awesome things happen. Even if it's raining like crazy.